Monday, May 13, 2013

36 weeks and she keeps the surprises coming...

Well I guess we shouldn't be surprised! Today was rather eventful and then uneventful as we are starting a game of hurry up and wait.

I have been having some very bad swelling in my feet, ankles and legs. Saturday night/Sunday morning I slept the whole night with my feet propped up and woke up to a swollen bag under my right eye and my left eye swollen shut. It slowly drained out but still looked pretty puffy by the time I got to church. I must have looked horrible...I didn't wear any make-up because I was still so swollen. People kept giving me pitiful looks.

I decided to check my blood pressure a couple times as excessive swelling is a sign they tell you to watch for with pre-eclampsia. I had been told to drink 90 oz of water a day and while I do my best, I know I'm not letting go of 90 oz a day, so up until this point I had thought the swelling was normal (and it still may be...). My blood pressure was a little elevated from my normal 112-116/68-72 but certainly not high.

I checked it this morning before I got out of bed and it was 149/89. I do have a hard time with the cuff because it takes up my entire upper arm and is sometimes hard to get above my elbow. I took it again and got a similar reading so I decided to call the doctor and see if I could have a professional check it. By the time I got to the dr's office it was 130/110. They checked my urine and found protein (another sign of pre-eclampsia) and I had gained four lbs in one week (yet another sing of Pre-E). (This from the girl that didn't gain any weight for about four weeks until the most recent trip when I had gained two)

Apparently, none of this is worrisome enough for an immediate diagnosis or action. However, they are concerned about the protein in my urine, so tomorrow I get to be chained to the hat in my toilet and keep urine in a cooler for the next 24 hours. WHoo. Hoo.

I saw the nurse practitioner and while in general I love her, she would not give me any indications of what may or may not happen next. (Not helping the blood pressure issue with anxiety...) I don't know if it's because they truly won't know until the urine comes back (which by the way will take until Friday - hence the hurry up and wait comment) or if she really wasn't sure what Dr. Anderson would want to do because they made me keep my appointment for Wednesday even though we did all the "normal" cervical check, heartbeat check and measuring today.

She did tell me she was hoping for a half a centimeter of change and maybe some effacement. I told her my contractions had stopped and I wasn't holding my breath. No change. Baby girl is sealed up tight and not at all in a rush to get here...once again, I'm left feeling like my body is failing her.

I'm just so frustrated. Apart from being so incredibly uncomfortable because at this point all that fluid just moved from one place in another in my body. My belly is huge and hard to manage. And...I'm going to officially cut my dad more slack when his blood pressure is elevated because the headache isn't fun and I'm so irritable I feel like I could just bite someones head off at any second. I forgive you dad.

But more so I'm frustrated because it's just another example (in my mind) of my body not doing what it's supposed to for this baby girl. With hyperemesis you feel like your body is literally rejecting what you're growing. With diabetes, you feel like your body has begun to harm itself and there by harm your baby. Now with whatever this is either high blood pressure or full blown pre-eclampsia...I feel like my body is just not made to carry this child! I know they always say the womb is the safest place but I feel like I'm going to breathe a HUGE sigh of relief when she gets here. I feel like my body is toxic.

Next week she's considered full term, so the closer we get to that the better. But with all this said I also don't want to be induced because if I'm closed shut and not effaced at all...inducing labor is going to likely be very difficult and perhaps even result in that c-section I want to avoid.

So in the meantime you can pray for both of us. Pray that this hurry up and wait game isn't harming her. I'm trying so hard to trust in my doctor's lack of immediate concern. It's not like they don't have a follow-up plan in place. Pray that I make it through this hurry up and wait game without making things worse for her by worrying so much and driving up my blood pressure. Pray for Stephen because he has to deal with the two of us! My husband the saint...

Most of all pray for a happy, healthy, safe baby girl whenever she makes her grand entrance. That's all I've ever wanted...

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