I got a really wonderful treat yesterday - I skyped with my grandma and the rest of my family to wish Grandma Happy 80th birthday! This is my dad's mom and we lost Papa (dad's dad) in November to recap. Grandma doesn't really talk much as she has trouble forming words so I don't really call her because for a lot of reasons...one because it's hard to have a conversation with her, and I also don't want to frustrate her because she can't talk back. But as much as I ache for Papa still, I have ached to know that grandma is okay. They were such a sweet loving couple who really lived for one another. It's also hard sometimes for her to open her eyes, but when mom put the iPad in front of her and she opened her eyes and I showed her my big fat belly and I could tell she was trying to smile. I promised her I'd bring baby girl to meet her in September (my cousin on the other side is getting married and Stephen and I decided we'd go early and make the rounds with family) and I really hope she lives that long, but I really don't know what to count on.
Talking to mom this afternoon, I learned more of how Grandma was handling Papa's death. It hit us all hard...it still hits me hard. In some ways I'm glad I wasn't there because I have yet to be with the family without him (with the exception of the funeral). Now, call me crazy and you can believe what you want, but I whole-heartedly believe this can happen. Grandma has been seeing visions of Papa at night. She swears that Papa lays down with her and that he has told her that when she's ready he's waiting for her. It's just so darn sweet...and comforting to me too, because Grandma isn't exactly functioning the way I will always remember her so when the time comes for them to be together again I think we will all feel at peace. Don't get me wrong, my theological brain knows that marraige is a human institution...and in a lot of ways, I believe that when you're dead, you're dead until Jesus comes to raise us to life again, but I've had experiences like Grandma has that sometimes makes me believe in something bigger than my brain wants me to.Even the care-giver has sworn she's seen Papa.
Having said all this, I don't want grandma to suffer anymore, but I'm so hoping I can see her one more time. I'm hoping I can bring the boppy and put it in her lap and help her hold baby girl...her only great-grandchild. Mom says she mentioned that to her at the party and she squealed in what we think was her attempt to let us know she was delighted. I just want to hug her too, give her a kiss and tell her I love her SO much!
In other less somber news...
If you remember Stephen has traveled to Temple, TX for the Mission Assembly (Synod Assembly). He is now the Dean of the Panhandle Conference! He was commissioned this morning. I did not go, but told him to get someone to take pictures and hopefully I will have some to post soon. The panhandle conference is made up of churches I would say in about a three hour radius of Amarillo. Stephen will conduct monthly cluster gatherings and basically be a go-between the pastors and the bishop providing support, inspiration and pastoral care. Although Stephen was voted by peers to be in this position, it was only between him and one other pastor in the area as our conference is currently made of lay leaders and interim pastors for churches where the pastor has just retired and they church is awaiting a call. I'm still pretty proud of him though!
He will be back later tonight and I can tell you after a four day absence I am SO ready for him to be home! Tomorrow marks 34 weeks and with Stephen back in town I feel like we are more prepared for baby girl to make her arrival when ever she decides.
She has stayed put and behaved for the most part while he was gone with the exception of Thursday night which really wasn't her fault because room in this belly is getting tight. I guess it was Friday morning around 12:30 when I got up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed (it's hard to make myself go to sleep the first few nights Stephen is out of town) and I realized my underwear, nightgown and bed were soaked. My first thought was I was leaking amniotic fluid. I had about four people on stand-by from church that were watching out for me, but I the last thing I wanted to do was call them at that ungodly hour and I was so tired I really didn't want to go up to Labor and Delivery to be told I had peed myself again. But this was an unusually large amount of wetness so I laid awake...and awake...waiting for some sort of contraction or more fluid and eventually fell asleep only to wake-up at 4:30 with massive heartburn. I didn't see much more fluid, but by the time I got up and walked around some that morning, I was still seeing some and got nervous so I went into the doctor's office just to make sure. And thankfully, although unfortunately...baby girl had made me wet the bed without even knowing it. Seriously, there are things people don't tell you about pregnancy that I would have rather had a heads up about! I think I've lost control of almost every bodily fluid now! The nurse told me it happens to over 90% of pregnant women at this point and to start wearing pads because like me, most of them don't feel it happening. Greeeeaatttt......depends here I come.
But the good news that came is there are no cervical changes or fluid leaking. Or at least I think that's a good news. Some people start dialating by this point even if they go a full 40 weeks and since I'm getting more and more uncomfortable as the days pass, I would like to see even the smallest change. But not while Stephen's gone...so I think I'll just keep my mouth shut!
And because this post does not have enough different topics...here's another!
I recently signed up to be an Arbonne Independant Consultant! Arbonne is a health and wellness company that I came in contact with back when I was selling Thirty-One in South Carolina. Their focus is skin care, cosmetics and nutrition and I absolutely love their skin care. After playing around with my new quilting frame, I realized that was going to take longer to get up and running into a lucrative business than I thought it would. In case you don't remember...I tend to freak out when I'm not making some sort of money. It's part of the reason I carried three to five jobs when I was the only bread-winner while Stephen was in seminary. I don't know where I got that from. Ok, well I do...I think I got it from my dad who always worked hard to provide more than enough for us. It's not that Stephen and I are really struggling, but there's not much to spare. It was such a blessing to have my parents help with college and basically help me not want for nothing so I could focus on my education. I want to do the same for our daughter and any other future kids. Without me working there's just not a whole lot to put away for her.
Things have taken off right away with Arbonne! It has already been such a better experience in terms of the support I've gotten from my up-line and the lack of money I've had to invest to start up. The goals for moving up in the company are easier to achieve and the team in Amarillo seems to work together well. I don't feel like I'm in this for myself, which not only has it's business perks, but I'm going to be meeting so many new people! Best of all...it's a home-based business, so I'll still get to stay home with baby girl and have time to ease into the long arm quilting market.
Needless to say, things are staying busy right up until baby girl makes her grand arrival. I'm thankful to have something to pass the time quickly, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm hoping time stands still for a little bit when she gets here.
Thanks for all your prayers that she stay put till Stephen get's home!