Friday, March 1, 2013

::Confessional::A Snarky Post! How about that pregnancy!

I've been fairly positive - well as positive as possible - while blogging about this pregnancy and I thought it might be time I post some humorous musings about what this pregnancy has been like so far. It's also a look inside this preacher's wife so that you might think I'm actually a little bit human. And by a little bit human I mean, I don't always have nice thoughts. :-) A sinner in need of redeeming you might say! CONFESSION time!

Let us not forget our humble beginning in the ER. Who knew I'd end up getting so familiar with that place!

"I think I had a cyst burst." Doctors response "Who cares, you're pregnant."

Ok, so the doc didn't actually say who cares...but it was kind of like after that positive pregnancy test, no one cared to figure out whether or not the cyst actually burst. The first time I realized I was a mother and the world is no longer about me! :-)

Up until about 10 weeks - I gained about six lbs on my small frame and felt like a boat. Because we ended up telling people I was pregnant earlier than we probably would have (if you remember my original due date was moved from May 27 to June 10th) - I heard a lot of "You don't look pregnant". The perfect thing to say when my face was puffing and my pants wouldn't's like saying "You always looked that fat." Just...don't.

From then on it was a downward spiral in which I thought I'd never feel bad about gaining pregnancy weight again. It went like this. Eat. *Barf* Drink *Barf* sleep *Barf* Drink *Barf*. Well why don't you drink some ginger ale and eat some saltine crackers. Word to the wise, if you ever meet a pregnant lady who is constantly going to the emergency room for fluids because she can't keep anything down...don't suggest ginger...or saltines. Ginger ale (because of the sugar) often made me want to throw up more - which on my darkest days when it was a good thing no one saw me - I would have promptly thrown it up in your face for good effect. (And you thought I had a good attitude through all this!)

Trip to Chicago. Spend a good night visiting friends in Compton, IL...and fell ill, later to be diagnosed with Flu B after we got home. Fantastic.

Then - my grandfather who has expressed wanting great-grand babies for YEARS...the best was on me the youngest (thanks a lot cousins...) died suddenly from a stroke. I wanted so bad to have a great grand baby for him to hold and spoil and slip candy, not to mention he was the healthier of my grandparents. Boo. I still have random dreams he's still a live - chalk that up to pregnancy hormones and wicked real dreams. I don't have anything snarky to say about this just that it sucks.

Enter December...the worst month of them all. It went something like this. *BAARRFFFFFFF* ER visit. Doctor follow up. *BARFFFFFFFF* ER visit, Doctor follow up. *BARFFFFFFFFF* ER visit doctor visit - are you sure you don't want to be admitted to the hospital? no thank you *BARFFF* Doc: "Go to the hospital NOW." A week of no solid food, a three day stay, a liquid diet, and then eventually the best tasting sandwich I've ever had in my life. :-)

Christmas: Cancel plans to go to NC (which would've been canceled anyway because we couldn't get out due to snow) which now plagues me because I haven't checked in with my grandmother since Papa died, and I haven't seen my other Nana in well over a year and I'm convinced someone else is going to drop dead. PTSD for this expecting mama....

The plane ride to Nashville went like this. Up , do*BARF*wn  Zofran. and repeat. three times. Then ride in a car for three hours...GET ME ON SOLID GROUND!!!. I held my composure somewhat ok - I think...A trip to the movies that required me to walk four blocks after having just got out of the hospital...meant almost passing out, feeling like I might barf all the way through Les Mis (and yet it was still a fantastic movie!) and passing out for what seemed like days when I really wanted to see friends.

January was spent feeling mostly like I'd been hit by a truck as I continued to gain my strength back. A baby bump started to show and I traded "You don't look pregnant" for a gast stares of "You're due...when??" Oh great every pregnant woman wants to hear not only is she HUGE....she's not going to make it to her due date. Guess what I'm 4'10 and this baby doesn't have ANYWHERE to go. You're at least a foot taller than me. Turn around, start over and tell me I'm beautiful and glowing - then I forgive you. :-) Also, references that involve sayings like "You look like you're almost ready to pop!" Are not helpful either. And please...don't tell me you hope I can enjoy my pregnancy. I don't. I hate every aspect of it. But just like the beginning...I realized real quick life's not just about me anymore. This kid is AMAZING and I wouldn't trade her for anything. Just don't laugh at me when I tell you I won't do it again.

Oh and guess's a baby GIRL!!!! :-)

February- back to work I go. One day a week...wait that was just optimism. But I don't mind it that much. I will take it over September, October,..November,...December.. oh.and JANUARY. OH what's that, my kitchen needs to be remodeled now. No problem I'll just spend three weeks in a hotel while my house is trashed. Crash, burn, pre-term labor scare...well I wouldn't be pregnant if it wasn't still interesting!

March - well it's day one, so we'll have to see. Bring on the third-trimester because this pregnancy is taking FOR- EV-ER...

Good news? Tomorrow - only 100 days left. Thanks be to God if it weren't Lent I'd throw in an "a-word" oh heck who cares this is a confessional anyway AL-LE-LU-IA to my GOD! I'm an Easter person after all.

Other good cat has been wonderful company through all this and he topped off tonight's post by getting up to eat after he drooled on my leg. I hope that means I'll be a good mom when I get drooled and pooped on because I still think this cat deserves an award for keeping me sane when I didn't feel like holding my head up. Well...that and my husband...who bathed me, cooked for me (even if it meant making jello or putting ice water in a glass and holding a straw to my mouth), drove me to the ER...wrote numerous sermons sitting in hospital rooms and has shown up to every doctors appointment I've had since we knew about baby. He's going to be a fantastic dad.

And you. My family and friends who have been praying us through it all... look back at this post and wonder how I've survived. God, prayers, and good support from YOU. Thank you.

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