This is the latest picture. Returning back to a somewhat normal life has us snapping a few less pictures, but in this picture she had just had a bath, was warm, clean and snuggly. The best combination ever - if you can't tell by my face!
Clearly, we are both healthy and well!
I had a follow up with the cardiologist and my blood pressure was back down to normal. Swelling is gone and I've lost 37 lbs doing nothing but nursing and a little walking - so clearly fluid is on it's way out. One of the greatest signs of this - I finally got my wedding rings back on! (Now, I may have pulled a Jim Friedrich and they may not come off for another 30 years, but by golly - they're on!)
My c-section scar is looking great and I am now cleared to start excercising again! (5K here I come!)
Of course, even though I've lost a significant amount of weight - I do still have a nice scar line and some fantastic looking stretch marks all over my body and my skin is a lot more flabby than it used to be in that area...but I came across this blog post at the most poignant time!
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/06272013-jade-beall-a-beautiful-body-project-must-see-photos-celebrate-real-moms-bodies/?scid=fb_wallPost
You see, I spent most of the entire time of my pregnancy thinking my body was letting me down. (If you need a recap - the posts are archived to the left). In fact much of my conversation at my six week post-partum visit revolved around whether or not my future pregnancies would be just as difficult. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to have more biological children or not and therefore what to do about birth control. (This conversation could have it's own really long blog post...)
But when I read the blogpost above, and saw the beautiful pictures of these mothers with their stretch marks, flabby skin and sagging boobs and read the quote - "... I know now that my body has much greater potential than looking good in a swimsuit." I couldn't help but agree more.
My body brought a healthy, beautiful baby girl that is growing like a weed. My body isn't only about getting my weight to an acceptable place (because it is right now and I can still find things I would like to change), it's not about being good looking. My body did something amazing - and continues to do so by providing nutrition for my child on a regular basis.
I can say that I am more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been. So what if I have bright pink stretch marks all over my stomach and other random places I never thought I would have had them? And the scar on my abdomen - heck, that's the best battle scar I've ever gotten! I'm proud of that sucker. And hey - seriously was I ever going to feel comfortable walking out in a bikini? Um, no. If I've got a swimsuit on, I'm being far too active to risk a wardrobe malfunction!
Besides - my husband has and always will think I'm beautiful and he makes a point to tell me on a regular basis. I'm no longer trying to impress anyone else - so who cares?
I only wish I wouldn't have given myself such a hard time over my body image for so long. I'm not going to lie and say I'm 100% ok with my body - what woman is? The point is to be healthy so I can do the things I want to do - like get in the floor for hours and play with Sarah, run a 5K because it's good therapy, throw and kick a ball as a family (because as soon as Sarah does that it's all her Daddy is going to want to do and it will be no fun to be left out!), hike the Canyon so we can take Sarah for a long hike in the Smoky Mountains and say "This is what REAL hills are!" so that MAYBE just maybe, one day Rocky Top will make sense to her!
Thanks for reading - I hope you know you're beautiful too!
(And I promise more Sarah pictures next time!)
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