We also had to say goodbye to Mimi, which was sad. I personally needed the interval of time by myself to feel confident in what I was doing. Mimi gave me a good system, but I still wasn't ready for her to leave. Having survived in time for the reinforcements (Grandpa Jim and Grandma Nancy), I feel much more prepared to handle being a mom, but am super happy for the help!
This is Sarah on my shoulder taking a nap. SUCH a sweet face! I could eat her with a spoon! It's faces like that make constantly being on call as a food source or just general soother all worth it!
We also went to church for the first time on Sunday. It's the only time I have gotten her out of the house and I kept her wrapped up in the Moby close to me to keep her away from germs since she's still so young. Of course, summer worship starts at 10:00am...a regular feeding time. And of course despite my efforts to feed her more and right before worship, we were still late by the time she fed again and then dirtied two more diapers...I really wish she could talk so when I change her she could say, "Hang on mom...I'm about to add a pee to that poopy, save the diaper for another two minutes..."
After that...this is how she spent her first Sunday in worship.
She has gained more weight (although I'm not sure how much). Her head is getting longer and her neck is getting stronger. She's put weight on her cute little cheeks and is now starting to look more like me in some respects, although I still think those lips are her daddy's!
She has developed a wicked diaper rash that is slowly getting better after I quick using pampers (they have some weird webbing in the diaper that kept sticking no matter how much diaper cream we used). She started to regularly blow out luv's diapers. Yesterday she cried almost all day just because it hurt. I have no doubt it burns...so we were super vigilant about changing her diaper even though the wipes and diaper cream always seem to ignite more cries. Stephen had to give me a break yesterday for a few hours. I've always been able to console her and it was clear she was hurting...it wears you down. I'm seriously considering ordering cloth for newborn, but she looks and seems to feel better today, so hopefully switching all that stuff and being diligent has helped. At this rate...it'll be months before she fits into her current cloth! Oh how a mom's heart aches when her daughter doesn't feel good!!!!
Of course, being diligent means not waiting around to see if she's going to pee or poop when one part of the diaper is soiled - which has led to Stephen and I getting tagged numerous times and lots of diapers being soiled before they're actually fully put on...sooooooo maybe we should wait for cloth! ;-)
Lots of you have been kind and ask how I am. I'm still frustrated sometimes by how weak I am - but I'm definitely getting a lot stronger. My c-section scar is healing nicely and have been off all pain medications for almost a week. I've been able to take longer walks (and by longer I mean...we made it around the block...instead of just around the house...). I'm able to keep up with some chores like washing, sterilizing bottles and keeping up with at least Sarah's laundry. Yesterday, I even went grocery shopping! I'm also careful to take naps with Sarah. We both enjoy the bonding time in the chair together, and it's easy to doze off with a slow breathing sack of potatoes on your shoulder with such a sweet peaceful face!
I've officially lost 30 lbs...which I can't help but think is contributing to my weakness. It's odd not to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes because they're too BIG. It's also odd to see your body lose that much so quickly. I know you're probably rolling your eyes that I'm complaining...but it does give me an indication of how malnourished I was. Now...having said that, I'm still at a healthy weight.
I had let myself get too far out of control...I'd tried so many different things and had just let myself believe that my weight was what it was going to be and not to mention I knew we were going to try to get pregnant which I naturally equated to getting fatter, so why bother right? (not good logic by the way)
I'm going to try to maintain where I'm at...but my stomach three weeks post partum is like a bowl full of jelly - so naturally I'll try to get that firmed back up. (Did I mention I think sit-ups and crunches are from the devil though?) Once I get cleared to exercise I might try to run some more. I am noticing in addition to my stomach some strange stretch marks...like ones behind and on the sides of my knees from how swollen they were...and my upper thigh and places you never thought you'd get stretch marks from pregnancy. Mostly those don't bother me though as they are still in places I rarely uncover in public. And because the pregnancy was so rough - I few them as just more battle scares of what it took to get Sweet Sarah to this world.
Luckily, I seem to have *SO FAR* escaped post-partum depression...but I'm chalking it up to a boost in an anti-depressant I had about a month or so before she was born. I think it was because of a shift in hormones because it was a rapid swing southward...we all decided staying on a higher dose was the best thing to do for me now that she's here and so far I think that was a great decision!
And now...it's time to feed my sweet baby girl - so I'm off to take care of the light of my life!
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